I'll think of a title later...no i won't.

truck project

2011-11-09T14:59:00.013-05:00

i bought a 1980 toyota pickup sr5 recently with the intention of a semi-complete restoration. not all original, auto show style, but just a simple body clean up and repaint, interior brought back to serviceable, and of course, mechanically sound top to bottom. to maintain some motivation via manufactured accountability, i will try a photo log (phlog?) of the process. first entry, the before.

this gives an idea of the state of the body. the rust, sparing the tailgate, is almost all on the surface. notice the axe wound on the driver's side of the hood. i will post more as i progress.

you got garnished

2011-07-14T19:48:00.002-04:00

i got paid last friday, and was about to pay my mortgage when i noticed that i didn't have as much money as i should in my account. when i looked more closely at my check, i noticed there was an after taxes entry labeled garnishment amounting to 25% of my take home.

my first thought was, "shit, that family i abandoned in tucson has tracked me down to collect the alimony i owe." My second was, "i took my tea party affiliation a little too seriously last year." But before i grabbed my bible and my guns and headed off into the woods, i checked with hr.

all i could find out on friday was that there was a judgement against me in excess of $1800 and it was in the "64th" district that the judgement was rendered. well, 64a is ionia, and they had no record of me in their system. Neither did 64b, montcalm. when i got home, i found a letter from sears holdings letting me know the attorney representing the plaintiff's name. this implied to me a civil suit, like maybe small claims, for which i obviously didn't show up, thus losing the case. this, to the best of my knowledge, didn't happen. but, with all the times i've moved and my lax attitude towards responsibility, who knows?

i finally got a call from hr on wednesday. apparently somebody entered the wrong last number in the actual defendant's social security number and somehow nobody caught on until i lost out on hundreds of dollars for a couple of weeks. i might be able to get it back on the next check, but it sure sucks to short until then.

i love being alive.

back in the saddle

2011-05-01T23:10:00.003-04:00

i voted for pedro

2011-02-27T19:52:00.002-05:00

all of my dreams have come true. Robotech is now available for instant play on netflix. i will now go and be 6 years old again.

this would have made a long comment

2010-07-29T09:44:00.003-04:00

i realize people that are here illegally are committing a civil infraction, but just saying we need to kick them out and build a wall because the law is the law isn't a practical solution. i can't even imagine the resources it would take to enforce it. we would be spending billions of dollars to excise what has become a important part of our economy ( whether it should be or not). we can't really afford to do either.

i think we need reform on both immigration and the path to legal status for those already here. if the legal process wasn't so arduous, the desperate might not resort to fence jumping. if building a wall to separate people worked in berlin, we might consider it for a 1,969 mile border which consists mostly of open desert. the vast majority of people who are here and who want to be here are seeking the same thing my forefathers (or is it 4fathers?) sought: opportunity for themselves and their families. this does not excuse crossing the border illegally, but the gato's out of the bag on this one. it's like the war on pot, except it's a lot harder to seize contraband that has legs and a brain. the current solutions for both problems are not effective and at times are costly and counterproductive.

as for being exposed to people speaking mexican, some people like it and some people don't, but we don't have an official language, so they're legally just as correct as the ingles speakers. my great grandparents only spoke dutch, yet here i am, capable of putting together a sentence in english (sometimes), as are my parents and grandparents.

this issue doesn't have any easy answers, but cracking down on people has been historically ineffective in this country (revolutionary war, civil rights era). again, this is not to deify the illegals, but just a pragmatic opinion. in a perfect world, the immigrants would line up and ask nicely if they could please escape hardship and earn a good living because they would have a reasonable chance of success before they're too old to work. these people could then work legally and pay taxes. the people crossing the border for nefarious reasons would be the lion's share of those crossing, and we could more easily keep the hard drugs out (needle in a needlestack), which would keep american dollars out of mexican drug dealer hands, weakening their influence and make both countries safer. too bad world is an asymptote to perfect.

ok, ranting done.

ocupado

2010-06-17T20:43:00.004-04:00

tomorrow at 4. woo hoo.

do you like apples?

2010-04-19T23:19:00.010-04:00

in this case, her "numbah" is an accepted offer on a house. there are still inspections and a few details to take care of, but the tentative closing date is may 21st. thanks for all the advice and kind (or in zac's case, slightly angry) sentiments. one of the few things i've done right so far is convince/trick a lot of great people into being my friends. i appreciated all the support (cupping the air and lifting) you've all given.

mister rogers, signing off.

should i stay or should i go?

2010-04-12T21:37:00.004-04:00

it's always tease, tease, tease.

so this has been one of the more difficult decisions i've had to make. i haven't made it yet, but i'm leaning towards the former. the options are either to stay in grand rapids or to go back to arizona.

option 1: stay.

advantages include that i'm already here, my family is here(mostly), many of my friends are here, i like the city for the most part, cost of living is low, and housing is affordable. also, at the moment i'm making more money here.

the big disadvantage is the fact that i don't particularly like my job here for a few different reasons(sporadic traffic, michigan certification rules, rust making every job 6.4 to 64% more annoying, other personnel related issues).

option 2: go.

advantages include hanging out with zac and teresa, getting the band back together(again), i liked my job at paradise valley, working on cars in arizona is much less aggravating , i like tucson, and it would be another adventure.

disadvantages include the fact that i hated the job in tucson and i don't know if the other option would be better, the paradise valley job is definitely not in tucson, cost of living is higher, owning a home is not very likely, and the move is costly.

before i got my certifications (when i was making very little), i was leaning towards tucson. the thing that has me leaning the other way now is the possibility of owning a home(now that i can afford one). moving every year since i was 18 has got me very tired of apartment living. not to mention feeling like i'm not getting anywhere despite spending hundreds every month.

houses around here are very reasonable right now, and if i move quickly, the tax credit can still come into play. what i decided to do was get pre-approved, get a realtor, and see what's out there. even if i decide not to buy, at least i can see what my options are. in the last week i've pursued this and tomorrow i go see my first batch of homes in the 80-90 thousand range. right now i feel like if i find the right place in time to get the credit, i will likely be in my own house by the end of may.

this has been on my mind for the better part of 6 months and i still don't know what to do. i really don't think there's a "right" answer. either way i will miss out on some things that are important to me. at this point, just being at peace with a decision is what i'm hoping for.

you're happy when i'm on my knees.

the first sign of the apocalypse

2009-10-09T19:49:00.000-04:00

i can't decide if this is funny, frightening, or kind of sad. probably all three. best line? i think it's, "many have called, but the chosen is you. whatever you want, shorty, i'll give it to oo you." although it's hard to argue with, "a, a, a, a."

on further reflection, maybe creepy best describes it. i hate precocious kids. maybe just all people, precocious kids included.

the wonderful future

2009-08-07T02:15:00.000-04:00

things that have happened recently:

moved back to michigan (felt weird for about a week and then was immediately as if i'd never left).

played guitar at another wedding (neil and i and announcement played various pieces for the prelude and greensleeves for the lighting of the unity candle at my sister's friend's wedding. the ceremony started almost an hour late and so we played for over an hour at the beginning. i need a bigger repertoire.).

got drums (neil gave me shells and i bought some cymbals and hardware. playing drums is fun).

ate yesterdog (best hot dogs in the world. got "the usual").

grabbed the bands (neil is alive!).

you're next

2009-01-26T14:52:00.000-05:00

so you all probably know i went back to g.r. because my sister got married. This was a little weird because i have only seen her once in the last three years (she has been in bolivia working with a mennonite peace corps sort of thing) and i had never met my now brother-in-law. also, anita has always been very private and introverted, especially about any romantic entanglements, so there has only ever been vague rumor about the possibility of her in a relationship. that said, they seem very happy together, and saul (pronounced sah-ool for those not born in tucson), although pretty quiet at first, especially since his english is basically nonexistent, is very easygoing and likable. i won't see them much since i they'll be living in bolivia (where saul is from and they met) for the foreseeable future, but it's good to see my sister happy and with a decent guy.

the wedding itself was pretty hectic for me and there were some hiccups, but it all turned out ok. I did get pretty tired of greeting people from my old church who i don't really know, all of whom seem to want to take a "special interest" in my heathen ass, but i guess they mean well. also, i don't really want to hear, "the oldest is married, now you're next, ha ha ha..." ever again. that prospect seems unlikely, but who knows? the cardinals are in the super bowl, after all. maybe the next sign of the apocalypse (right before the lions winning a super bowl) will be me married. maybe just a girlfriend. well, maybe, to start, conversation with a female not married to one of my friends. baby steps.

favorite part of the reception (other than spectacular food from tom neinhuis): this video, made by some of anita and saul's friends and shown during the meal (it takes a bit to load). just imagine the conservative dutch crc crowd sitting in the church gym listening (saul is a big 80s and 90s american rock fan). it basically consisted of slightly surprised and polite silence, except for the wedding party table (me, my other sisters, and the best man and his wife) trying not to laugh at the weird juxtaposition.

day 100-feeling a little yarr

2008-09-05T16:23:00.000-04:00

i look a little like i've been on the high seas for a while. in other water related news, i actually have hot water in my "new" apartment now. this only took 9 weeks and nearly 10 inquiries to accomplish. apartments are no good.

day 35-for the ladies

2008-07-09T20:13:00.000-04:00

yes, it's slow. but it's worth it. you know what i'm talking about.

the shaving

2008-06-06T23:34:00.000-04:00

okay, here it is. i cut the hair and shaved at midnight of 6/4. i'll update whenever i'm i can borrow a camera and computer. now, there's still time for anybody to get in on this, whether it be no haircut, no shaving, or both. even if you don't make it a year, see how far you can go.

ta da!

2008-05-07T18:58:00.000-04:00

i'm not angry.

is there no sick, old woman who can stand before me?

2008-03-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

yes, my last sears link was taken down. somehow management found out about it, took exception to the light in which their company was cast, and forced undefeated g to take it down. having learned his lesson (note the 5% reduction in sears signs/references), he's back with more.

p.s. take some time with steve oedekerk today. you may regret it.

at first sight

2007-12-19T13:59:00.000-05:00

i haven't posted much about the new job at sears since i started in april. yes, yes, i haven't posted much about anything since april. you like it. more specifically, i haven't posted at all about my new sears auto center in tucson. i have to get from the library to my apartment, eat lunch and get to work on my bike in less than an hour (yes, i prepare and consume my meals on a bicycle. adds challenge). so right now i will give you a sample of what its like. there's plenty of gold in them that hills; this is just an appetizer.

go here and watch.

p.s. this is my actual sears and fellow employees.

more sadness

2007-11-21T12:14:00.001-05:00

i realize i haven't posted for a long, long time, so nobody may even read this, but i think i should make official note of this. even though i hate people, i love dogs. problem is, they don't live forever. this is an excerpt from an email my mom sent me.

I don't know if we will get a chance to connect with you in person soon, but I do have sad news for you: Chela died a week ago today. I came home from school and she didn't come out of her dog house, but we had been suspecting that she was becoming a bit hard of hearing, so I didn't think much of it, but then when I went over and looked, she was stretched out as if she were having a nap, with her head on her dog dish (she's always rested with her head on uncomfortable things), but clearly she had died several hours before. I like to think that her heart just kind of gave out and she died peacefully, since she didn't look as if she had been struggling. Dad buried her behind the garage. It's really strange to have her gone.

so even though i haven't lived with chela for years, i'm sitting here at the library as close to crying as i've been since mrs. blickley thought it was my birthday. man, i really loved that dog.

don't ask and you shall receive

2007-05-06T03:55:00.000-04:00

late, but i'm out of other post ideas.

1. i have been accused of being picky when it comes to food many times (20 times). it's a little weirder than that. i like most things. i will try almost anything once, but i have specific dislikes. they include mayo, ranch dressing, onions, tomatoes, and mushrooms. unfortunately, these five things find their way into just about everything everyone else likes.

2. i have a little ocd, but this doesn't stop me from being messy. sometimes i keep my living areas clean for months at a time, and sometimes it's months between cleanings. i've found that when i live with someone messier than i am, i keep things clean, but when i live with someone who's neater than i am, i tend to be messy. that, i suppose, is a reflection of my contrary nature.

3. i love to read, which isn't weird, but i still love to read fantasy and science fiction like i did when i was a child. in fact, it has to be pretty bad for me not to read it. like, any plot will do, however ill-conceived, as long as the writing itself isn't glaringly awful.
not: you know, the weirdest thing about this one is that i'm citing reading fantasy as being weird, while i didn't even think of playing dnd as odd.

4. when it comes to movies, i truly enjoy period pieces, more specifically mannered romances. not too masculine, but for some reason i love them; the sadder, the better. also, it's best if the main characters don't have sex or end up together. good examples are the age of innocence and the remains of the day. i don't know if it's too much pbs when i was a kid or the fact that i watched a lot of movies with my older sister, but there it is.

5. i, as some of you know, have enrolled in way too many college classes not to have a doctorate in some sort of bioscience. i hate being in school, because i hate homework and will swiftly lose interest if the professor isn't interesting or some other random, stupid reason, like i don't like an assignment, i don't like getting up before 11:45 a.m., i'd rather watch a movie, or maybe my bed is extra comfortable on a particular morning. but i love learning and taking all kinds of classes, so i keep at it. stupid, yes, but it's not over yet.

6. while i don't believe i'm picky about food, i am just a little picky about women. no, really. i can almost always find fault physically with any woman, not to mention in their personalities. the funny thing is, often attractive women have personalities that make it much easier for me to find fault in them. not that i talk to them, so much of this is gleaned from a small pool of empirical evidence, which i expand this with my own preconceptions and assumptions to form a no doubt inaccurate and unfair picture of what their personality actually is. of course, assuming i'm vaguely attracted to someone and they have a great personality, they become much more attractive. not that this happens very often. which leads me to #7...

7. i have endured a near monk-like period of being single, which wouldn't be so bad if all my friends didn't decide to marry soon after my last relationship. let's just say that i've had a girlfriend this millennium, but just barely. being single that long isn't that weird, at least for me, but that's just it. i don't mind it at all. i rarely miss having a significant other. i do sometimes, of course, but generally i feel like this could go on indefinitely. i do tire of being the third wheel sometimes, which leads me to #8...

8. i have lived, as in paying or sharing rent, with not one, not two, but three of my married friends. the ultimate third wheel situation. it's all made sense at the time, and hasn't led to any problems, but it's pretty odd.

9. my facial hair grown in a pirate style mustache and goatee without any trimming whatsoever. on the rest of my face, almost nothing. yarr.

10. when i was younger, i was painfully shy. i wanted no attention in public, couldn't order food at restaurants, was embarassed every day, and often adopted others opinions simply not to stand out. for some reason, this slowly changed. i now feel like i am at most seen as quiet and am barely an introvert. lord knows i have my own opinions now, and am happy to argue about them at any time. however, two remnants from my prior acute shyness come to mind: first, public speaking and parties where i don't know anyone are daunting enough to not seem worth the effort; second, every once in a while i need some time alone. if i don't get it, i'm irritable and impatient with people and just feel like shit. sometimes i just need a couple hours, sometimes it's a week, but i just need a break because the thought of dealing with people is just too much.

11. yeah, that's right, you thought you were going to get by without learning about my bathroom habits. but i added #11 just so you could. i actually like public restrooms, as long as they are clean. in fact, i almost look forward to the opportunity to try a "new" bathroom. i like variety. in fact, i would say i have tried out every bathroom that i could legally get to at both calvin college and grcc. i do, however, need privacy for #2 and am willing to wait people out if i must to avoid anyone encountering audible evidence of the deed.

guilty

2007-05-02T00:25:00.000-04:00

kato is smart. we're all smarter than a lady in her forties who doesn't recognize the high beams light on the dash. ok, i can't even muster up much anger today. here's the 'stache.

i look worried.

i'm coming to a sad realization.

the accused

2007-04-30T23:22:00.000-04:00

an angry woman came in to sears 5 minutes to close. she was angry because she felt we broke something earlier in the day when she had some work done. "there's a light on now! a blue light!" well, since this isn't k-mart (but almost) and i, the only tech, was busy, a csa went out to see what it was.

so, what do you think it was? remember, people are stupid. i'll show you the answer and the world's worst mustache tomorrow

goodnight, mr. tom

2007-04-08T11:24:00.000-04:00

no more jiffy lube. i got a job at sears and my last day was saturday. i really have nothing to say, and in fact i almost shut this thing down out of blogging apathy. "fortunately", i was too apathetic to do that. monday is when i begin again. maybe i'll not hate my life now and might start blogging again. i should now have 8-10 hours free a week, so maybe i'll be productive. stop laughing.

are you there god? it's me, margaret.

2007-01-09T21:07:00.000-05:00

do you feel god (or whatever you believe) in your life? ok, do you feel his presence when you pray? does god "guide" you in making decisions? or does he make them for you or "tell" you what do?

i guess this strikes everyone a little differently. i am an agnostic and have been for at least 6 to 4 years. being raised a christian reformed protestant in grand rapids, attending church twice every sunday plus religious holidays, and going to catholic and then christian schools from age 2 up to graduation from high school, not to mention calvin college, has given me every opportunity to feel god in my life/heart/soul/whatever. every time i've had a "religious experience, it's been due to the euphoria/adrenaline/brainwashing of altar call style ministry, or when i've had great experiences in nature, or, more often, the beauty of music in a religious setting.

as far as the nature and music, beauty and grace in either forum need not necessarily be derived from god and such associations can be attributed to being taught that the sublime equals god.

to address the altar call, not to be confused with creed minus stapp, i have come to think of this as a slightly disdainful practice. twice in my life, once at a christian rock concert (yeah, i know) and once at a christian youth convention, i have "given my life to" or "opened my heart to" jesus. in both occasions, the atmosphere (dark, encompassing music, repeated, impassioned pleas from either a lead singer or a youth minister, and thousands of your peers in the throes of religious ecstasy) exacerbated my guilt over not being save yet and my ingrained need to have a religious experience (almost everyone else i knew having already apparently had one).

however, upon later reflection in a quiet, sober state, the joy and euphoria of the moment always slipped away like a thief in the night. so this "religious experiences" i had seemed to me nothing but a briefly stirred fervor. hardly evidence of god in any case.

so i am left with a suspect desire to know god, or at least if there is a god. one thing i gleaned from my religion and philosophy classes at calvin is that i must doubt and fight with my faith and really any idea until i am, as an adult, convinced of its merits (the unexamined life is not worth leading). besides, the pascal's wager approach always struck me as trivializing the core of the question of faith.

of course, a religious upbringing can be a double-edged sword. having seen plenty of hypocrisy and fatuous christians who have never once questioned their faith but rather simply slid along believing what they were taught without a complaint has left me a bit cynical and jaded. ok, maybe a lot. are all those people really genuine christians? if so, why haven't i been saved? many times in solitude i have tried to ask god or jesus or the holy spirit or anything to help me or make it's presence known or guide my decisions or even just give a feeling that there might possibly be a god. and yet, here i sit, unmoved. so if god really does move in peoples lives, why hasn't he done so in mine? has he chosen not to? is it my fault? what more could i be doing? i don't even want to hear about predestination. if god doesn't give us a choice or opportunity to know him and be saved but rather has decided for us who will or will not be saved, i'm not interested in him anyway. if he wants me to go to hell, fine, i will.

where does this all leave me? right where i am. i am open to the concept of god, to christianity, and am always willing to argue and discuss it, for how else can i figure it all out? if god has something for me, bring it. i hope i'm ready. but meanwhile, while i can't say there is no god, neither can i say that there is.

what, if you are still reading, you may ask, brought on this blah, blah, blah on everybody's favorite subject? i was innocently waiting for the store to close when a coworker, who had been talking about anything and everything all day long, to the point where we were actually considering murder, started to talk at me about how he had an interview this morning. then he said that although he had thought he was done working in construction and for that reason had made a career change (hence the jiffy lube), he felt that god was guiding him back to it. he went on to say that he really felt as if god wanted him to get back into construction. and then he said that he felt god moving his life in this direction. and, oh, by the way, he was running out of $ and this new job would pay $18/hour+.

yep, god works in mysterious ways.

p.s. among my friends, especially slippery amoeba, carlos, and ikyam, i have discussed this and other aspects of religion and i want to be clear that i respect all of their opinions and hope to go on discussing god with them in the future.

hopefully mostly at parties.

gk will have his revenge...

2007-01-06T00:29:00.000-05:00

when i was a kid and we would go on our annual two week summer vacation to someplace it took a long time to drive (grand rapids isn't close to anything good outside of chicago, is it?), my father would bring lake wobegon days or some other rumination-on-tape of garrison keillor's.

i think this is why i still love a prairie home companion. he speaks of the midwest with a twisted, weary affection and clearly loves his home and his brethren despite a ruefulness that nears disdain. that's not far from how i feel about it. so many things about where i spent the latter half of my childhood exasperate me, but i miss that simple mindset of children. it's all possible and in fact probable. furthermore, you love where you are without realizing it. the kinship is not really noticed until it is gone. but of course it's only fleetingly gone, which is of what a prairie home companion always reminds me.

thinking about that makes me glad i am who i am, but regret goes hand in hand with memory. it's not that i regret all the things i've done and the choices that i made, but it sure is different than i expected, or rather assumed it would be as an eight year old. pain is all wrapped up in sweetness, and sadness is beautiful.

to sum up this rambling post, i turn to billy, jason, and kurt; i'm in love with my sadness, everything beautiful is far away, and i miss the comfort in being sad.

resolutely irresolute

2007-01-01T15:45:00.001-05:00

ah, the new year. it never seems to matter much anymore, or at least less every year. my resolutions never amount to much anyway.
nevertheless, or should i say irregardless, it's the logical time to begin a new approach to living. here's my list:

1. be not lazy
i can get lazy for long stretches. no more.

2. buy me some tone
this means not only acquiring that elusive mark IV, but also getting inspired to work on my guitar tone. i also want to get another guitar.

3. keep writing music
the song(s) are coming along slowly, but there are ideas aplenty. it's just hard to be patient.

4. get the band back together
it's in progress but two things need to happen; we need the rest of the band and we need to live in the same city.

5. escape the jiffy lube for greener pastures
i don't hate everything about the jteam but it has to end. hopefully i will be able to work part-time at a shop and at a music store, but mostly i need to be around people for whom i have some respect. yes, i think i'm better than you.

6. listen to more music
i love finding new bands to immerse myself in and it inspires good writing. i'm doing it.

7. finish that which i started almost a decade ago
get myself a college degree. get rid of excuses. and then start another decade of schooling. oh, jeez, oh jeez.

looking at this list, i see that the band is well represented. good. it's the best thing i have going right now, and i can't wait to see where we are in 364 days. bring it, 2007. i am not afraid of you and i will beat you ass.

darkness on the edge of town

2006-12-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

i don't have the heart to post about this.
the saddest post in the world.

girl you know it's true

2006-12-19T18:36:00.000-05:00

http://www.myheritage.com

the hypocritic oath

2006-12-19T00:49:00.000-05:00

so i realized as i accepted the bible tract from a customer that earlier she, while relating the story of how she purchased her car, told me that her son "jewed" the seller down to a reasonable price. this is the sort of thing that makes me hate organized religion. these people are part of the reason i stopped going to church 10 years ago.

more politeness (or, kung fu sunshine)

2006-12-16T00:36:00.001-05:00

new employees mean more bad things...

-"that fucking bitch" (overheard several separate times, apparently talking to himself)

-"i'm angry."
"you need more puss." (pronounced like a type of cat w/o the y)
"um..."
"you need to get some poon-tang."
"um...maybe...um..." (walking away)

-"i knew he was a fuckin' queer. doesn't talk about pussy enough."

-"don't you wish all the foreigners would just go away?"
"uh, no. a few generations back most of my family was foreign here, so i don't really have a problem with them."
"yeah, but i just wish the ones that can't speak it would get out, you know?"
-"..." (concentrating so hard on an air filter that i can't continue the conversation)

-" que vas a sufrir..." (singing mars volta)
"what? are you singing mexican now?"

don't worry; i hear something offensive every day. more to come.

ikyam and my father be damned, i do what i want

2006-12-10T21:54:00.000-05:00

okay, i hate bill o'reilly as much as any other moderate/liberal and i usually avoid watching him to avoid ulcers and high blood pressure, but sometimes i like to revel in it. so, apparently, does keith olbermann. maybe a little too much. but even considering the source and also my own biased view, this is an enjoyable, albeit lengthy look at a fatuous windbag. he is, of course, one of many, but i like hating him a little more than all the rest.

backbiting and fur flying

2006-12-07T23:43:00.000-05:00

since i have nothing in my life except a worse job than you, i will continue with the next installment of the Oil and the Beautiful (or Jiffy Lubes of Our Lives, so that stemshul can say JOOL!).

on monday, carpenter mike (big fish) decided that getting out of a running stick shift while it was in gear was more important than our store's bonus for the next two months or having all our garage doors close at night. but at least i know what a rav4 getting a buzz cut looks like.

on tuesday, our only assistant manager walked out and proceeded to throw our store manager under the bus by calling the franchise owner with accusations, which led to our store manager bitching about being called lazy, which led to frankie impling it might be true, which lead to a pissing contest, which led to frankie going back to hollywood to find a new jorb.

on wednesday we got three new employees, which is good since while we've been "hiring" since i started in october, we had managed to hire nobody while losing three out of eight employees and one out of two managers. we are supposed to have one manager, one assistant, one "third key", and 8-10 employees we were down to one store manager and five employees. the only potential advantage of this scenario would be larger shares of the bonus, but alas, big fish + my hopes and dreams and a brand new toyota = disaster.

oh, and my contribution was to fuck up the close by shorting the till about two thousand dollars.

oh, oh, and carpenter mike was trying to prime a filter gasket and while eventually succeeding, first primed both me and the car whose windows i had just washed with 10w30 oil.
wednesday was stellar.

the lesson, as always, don't work at jiffy lube.

i'm talking to you, katohater. and maybe you, amoeba.

this is why you should pay more for gas

2006-11-27T22:42:00.000-05:00

a big ford v8 diesel truck came in the other day and the owner said as he got out, "this truck has a lot of miles on it." when i checked th odometer, it read 34786.5. i was just thinking, "that's not so much," when i realized there was no decimal point. this heavy duty work truck, beat up as it was, had managed to accumulate almost 350,000 miles. i'm buying a diesel and so should you.

also, this is who i want to be when i'm old.

polite and dirty (may i place my _ in your _?)

2006-11-25T00:20:00.000-05:00

things i've heard in my first month at jiffy lube:

-"i need an occasional maintenance fuck"

-a cheeseburger strike the glass door to the customer lounge

-"my wife hates it when i'm on steroids because i'm always jumping her"

-"i do what i want!"

-"keep it down, larry, the customer can hear you,"'well, fuck him, too!"

-what it sounds like when a hyundai accent burns rubber

-"i could make love to that all night long"

-"she hasn't had sex with me yet because of her cancer treatments"

-a shouting match between a 20 year old smart ass and a pudgy middle-aged man from the caribbean

-"(heh, heh) hey, throw that big red switch!" [clunk] "no, wait! (shit)" "dammit, who did that? if you broke all the computers, its your ass!"

-"yeah, i have acid reflux and i vomited phlegm all over the inside of the car, so can you wash the inside windows too?"

-"work hard, play hard, you know what i mean!"

-"i need a break, i haven't had a smoke in an hour!"

-"its always five o'clock somewhere!" "no, only 24 times a day" "well, it is in margaritaville!"

-"this customer only speaks spanish, so if you don't, i can..." "ok, 'nuff said, one dump and pump for jose!" "uh..." "i don't speak spanish, cuz this is america!"

...and that's the stuff i haven't blocked out in an effort stave off lobotomy via osmosis. i need a new job.

u2 is a tenuous thing

2006-11-20T23:01:00.000-05:00

at the risk of just posting videos, i will now post a video.

john randolph supercedes time and race

2006-11-16T20:40:00.000-05:00

ikyam has a clone...or is a clone...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1ndudIlhQhA
yes, it's archaic, but i do what i want. you're lucky i even posted.

dammit

2006-08-20T00:12:00.000-04:00

Common sense got the better of me. I hate being anticlimactic. I'm staying on a low note. All that said, I'm happy that I'll be seeing most of you regularly (the others know who they are). I may actually get my shit together, but either way.

p.s. yea, i am coming soon-the mullet

here we go

2006-06-27T19:21:00.000-04:00

That first one was just to see if it worked. This will be my first official post. The reason for me to enter the blogosphere was not an immediate one, other than occasional badgering from the rest of you bastards, but rather the eventual need which will be created when I leave this state and thus will need to communicate with my friends. Don't bother to check this too often. I'm lazy, so I may not post very often.

Tomorrow I start my summer job for the last time...(pause for incredulous laughter from thse who have heard that at least 4 times)...and I'm pretty happy about it. City employees can make lazy people look pretty industrious. Also, having a 25 meter lap pool to myself and the amoeba may take care of these 64 lbs I somehow acquired in the last nine years. Stupid tacos.

we'll see.

2006-06-27T18:02:00.000-04:00

Is starting a blog you doubt you'll utilize just because you're bored a good idea?